I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
