On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
