That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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