So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
