no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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