John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize