You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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