do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize