So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
