need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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