I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize