My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
