I just made out with a guy for $7.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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