Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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