fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
