Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
