She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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