i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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