hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
