chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
