I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
