Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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