you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
