I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh god the rape fog is back!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
