I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
