Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
sex in a hospital.. check
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
