YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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