Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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