JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
