Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
