Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
