dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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