he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
