I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
