He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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