I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
