talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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