Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
