Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
