I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
