We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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