just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
