We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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