I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
