You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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