he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
