sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Two words: blizzard sex
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
