today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
