why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
