Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
