Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
