she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
