i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
