How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
