do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
