The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A bitchslap is in order.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
