question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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