Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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