Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
