Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
