You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
