apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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