WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
