Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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