bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I could make wine with my vomit
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
