Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
