Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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